It must be just about 'that time of the month' because it seems I am crankier than usual lately!! My current state of rage is not helped by my daily journey on London's public transport systems. Let's just say a few people are very lucky they did not get clobbered today.
1. Sometimes when there are no seats on the train, I am forced to stand in some squashed corner of the doorway for the 15 minute train ride to Shenfield. Now, first of all, aren't I paying a MILLION quid a week for a bloody train ticket???? For the dear price I pay, you would think that would earn you a SEAT on the train. But no. Anyway, I've gotten over that bit. I console myself by thinking, 'well, at least you will be the first person off the train'. You would think that anyway, since I am pretty much standing pressed up against the door (sometimes I have visions that the door malfuntions and opens whilst the train is speeding down the track, throwing me to my painful death!). I might get off first, if the doorknobs who have been sitting for the past 30 minutes, didn't jump up and shove their way to the front. Sometimes I feel like pushing them out of my way, like you do when you are five.
2. The school children who ride the train and/or bus act like it's their first day out in humanity after landing in England on the raft they have been sailing on for the past 13 years of their life. Is it necessary to SCREAM conversations at each other. Don't they know I am trying to peacefully read my book?
3. I hate when people reading newspapers think that gives them the liberty to take up half the space in the cabin. Do you really need to spread the newspaper as wide as it will go without ripping? Likewise, do you need to poke me in the side EVERYTIME you turn the page (and not once say sorry).
4. I realise I get off at an obscure train stop... but I don't understand why the people who get on at that stop can't move out of the way so I can exit the train in peace. Instead I practically have to knock down people to get off the bloody train. And then, after I push through the WALL of human beings, I have to avoid being knocked down by people who are sprinting down the platform trying to get in an emptier car because they couldn't get their lazy asses there a few minutes earlier. Even worse, are the morons who fly down the stairs with no respect for people climbing up them trying to catch a train that has already started MOVING OUT OF THE STATION.
5. When lots of people get off the train at the same time and start moving down the staircase people seem to think that the hundreds of people in front of you will move along faster if they practically walk on your feet. I have visions of myself being pushed down the stairs and commuters walking over my bleeding, broken body instead of missing their train to help me.
6. BIKES ON THE TRAIN. The train is crowded in the morning. Can't you leave your bike at the station and WALK to work when you get to London?
7. PRAMS ON THE BUS. They take up enough room for ten passengers (since people seem to only buy prams the size of small cars these days).
8. I don't understand why people under the age of 20 can't sit in a seat on the bus unless they are sat next to their friends. Instead, the bus pulls up and all you can see is a wall of humans pressed against the windows and doors and you think to yourself, 'fucking hell'. But you've been waiting for the bus for 15 minutes, so you squeeze yourself on. As you're standing there, trying to stand straight as you have nothing to hold onto, you start to notice that there are about 65 seats available at the back of the bus and about half as many people standing blocking your way to the empty seats. SIT IN THE DAMN SEATS.
9. I always have about ten bags going back and forth to work. I will put them in my lap or on the floor if the bus/train is empty. However, if there are about 5 people on the bus/train, I stick them in the seat next to me. When there are 45 seats available, is it really necessary to rudely ask me to move my stuff so you can sit there. Is it a lucky seat or something?
10. This wasn't actually on the train or bus, but was in my in between snack stop, so I am counting it anyway. I go into this shop for a little bag of chips and have my money ready to pay. This woman and her two brats are choosing candy. One hasn't decided yet, so the lady tells me to go first. As I am waiting for my change, this little boy says to me, 'HURRY UP LADY'. Instead of slapping the rude bastard, the woman (WHO TOLD ME TO GO FIRST) says, 'it's not the lady's fault, it's Adam's' and the little knob says, 'YES IT IS THE LADY'S FAULT. HURRY UP LADY'. Now, if that was my child I would certainly not be buying them the chocolate bar, nor would I let it behave so rudely in a public place. This is a prime example of why some teacher's eventually end up on stress leave. Because parents let their children run the show. If that child was in my class, he would have been sitting in the detention room with no chocolate.
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