I Hate Cyclists.... a Love Story.

I tried to find some anti-cyclists bumper sticker saying.... but all I got on my google search was a lot of pro-cycling, 'give cyclists their space' gobbly gook. I've slowly been developping an anti-cyclist attitude, but today was the final straw. Here is why I hate cyclists:

NUMBER 1 - When you are driving on the road, cyclists weave in and out of cars. Are they not aware that their bicycle does not actually show up in the blind spot. Nor can a driver SENSE a cycler sidling up beside them. This is how accidents happen.

NUMBER 2 - Despite driving on the road with the cars and thus, one would assume, meant to follow the same road rules as cars, cyclists have their own rules. Simply put, they make up the rules as they see fit. For example, if a car has a green light, the cyclist also has a green light. If a car as a red light, the cyclist still has a green light. The cyclist ALWAYS has the right of way. Don't mind the pedestrians who have the crossing light. Run over them if you have to.

NUMBER 3 - At the train station there is a cyclist parking lot. This would be fine except for the fact that to get into the parking lot, the cyclists often cut through the bus lane (thus, unexpected) and then swerve in front of pedestrians into this car park. Bastards.

NUMBER 4 - A bicycle is nowhere near as fast as a car. This becomes obvious when, for whatever reason, there is not enough room to drive your car past the cyclist without hitting them. Wait til they catch me on a bad day.

NUMBER 5 - I once had a near death experience caused by a cyclist. I was driving my car on this twisty road and an 18 wheeler swerved to miss a cyclist thus putting itself RIGHT IN MY LANE. I had to swerve my car off a road that had no bloody shoulder to avoid being creamed by a massive truck who was trying not to hit cycling man.

NUMBER 6 - Cyclists who drive on the sidewalk (English translation... pavement). Now, number one, you are meant to be driving on the road. Thus, if you decide to ride your bike on the sidewalk, then you should be prepared to stop and let pedestrians pass. NOT DRIVE YOUR BIKE DIRECTLY INTO THEIR PATH. For example, today I am walking home. I'm tired. I've had a long day. I am on foot. A cyclist approaches driving like a mad man. I figured he'd move so I continue along. The cycle continues to come towards me. I had to press myself up against a wall to avoid being hit. THEN a second cycle comes whizzing up behind the first and practically knocks my handbag off my shoulder. This is unacceptable. I wouldn't drive my car on the pavement (well, not on purpose) and you shouldn't drive your bicycle (unless you are about 8, at which point it is acceptable providing you do not knock down any pedestrians).

Now, I am all for healthy living and all that jazz. However, I don't think it should be had at the expense of my own LIFE! All I ask is that cyclists practice a little common sense, obey the rules, and please wear a helmet (if I hit you, or knock you off your bike with my bat, I don't want to see your brains splatter across the pavement).