Why Soundproofing Blocks of Flats is a Good Idea

Some people might think it is mean to write about your neighbours. But I doubt mine will ever read this, so I am doing it anyway!!! These people don't live next door to me, but rather directly above me, thus I have much insight into their most private affairs. This is not by choice, but rather a disadvantage of living in a block of flats that I believe was meant to be a two story house. Hence the complete and utter lack of soundproofing. That said, there are two sets of people who live above my flat though, with the exception of ONE party in December, I have never seen or heard the other member of this lovely block of flats.

I call this entry - Why My Neighbours Annoy Me:

#1 - The night we moved in (after living in a bed and breakfast and sharing a room for a month) we hear a knock at our door. Our landlord opens the door to reveal an older man who looks like he has just crawled out of the grave. Seriously. The man proceeds to ask us to keep the noise down as we have woken his small children (seriously, he could be my grandfather) with all our banging. Our landlord tells him off in a screaming exchange. That night I dream I am being murdered by the old man.

#2 - Despite his request for utter and complete silence. The ammount of NOISE from their flat is ridiculous. For some reason they stomp around, run up and down the stairs, and have replaced talking with screaming. Not to mention the two small children...... which brings me to my next point.

#3 - These children do not just cry. They SCREAM. At the top of their lungs. For hours on end. Perhaps this is because mum's response to their screaming is to scream back at them.

#4 - They leave their massive stroller right in front of the entrance to the flat. They've seen me, they know I'm not that thin.

#5 - They have the grossest sex in the universe. Because I live directly below them, I have had the unfortunate opportunity to hear them copulating on several occassions. This is wrong on so many levels. First of all, the girl is about my age. The man is about my granddads.... Enough said. Secondly, they make gross noises! Like grunting, and panting, and yuck yuck yuck!!!! The first time I heard it I thought the old man was dying! Most disturbing of all, they sometimes communicate with the children DURING sex. Once mum screamed out (in the middle of the grunting and moaning) 'Mummy's ok, Mummy's ok'. I had a hysterectomy that day.