Some tips for those of you who are fed up with trying to find dates whilst wandering the mean streets and have resorted to online dating.
There are many types of men who use online dating sites. Here are some of the more noteworthy:
The Newbie - The newbie has only recently signed up for online dating and is still not 100 % sold. He needs to be treated with the utmost care, as he is easily frightened. He may not be ready for a face to face meeting for weeks.
The Horny Guy - The online dating world is overpopulated by the horny guy. This man is looking for one thing and one thing only. Sex. Sometimes he will let you know right away (i.e. 'Hello, my name is _________. You alright? What's your favourite position?). At other times the horny guy will attempt to disguise his true intentions while feeling you out with sly innuendo.
The Single Dad - The single dad has usually only recently broken up with his significant other and has one, two, or even three children. His profile usually dedicates a paragraph to how much he loves his children and most of his profile pictures showcase his bundles of joy. If the single dad has had a rough break up a paragraph may often be included letting all prospective girlfriends know what a bitch his ex is and how she has ruined his life.
The Chav - The chav usually has children but does not admit it. Actually, he might admit it, but unless you speak chav, you will not be able to read his profile.
The Cynic - The cynic has recently been through a series of bad relationships. He often blames women for his dating problems and includes a long list of the qualities he does not appreciate in a woman. He will include phrases like 'You women are all the same' in his initial ice-breaking chats which are also peppered with other unfriendly references towards the female species. He will be offended when you decline his request for a date.
The Foreigner - The Foreigner is a common species on the online dating sites. He speaks limited English and sometimes his messages are difficult to interpret. He usually comes on very strong from the beginning, leaving you to wonder if he is looking for a date or citizenship through marriage.
The Model - This is a man who puts up shots of 'himself' looking like he is posing for a catalogue. He will write a fairly obnoxious profile to go with it. The model will never ever meet you face to face.
The Penpal - The penpal is not looking for a real girlfriend. Rather he is interested in a cyber girlfriend to meet for chats online at regular intervals. It is quite possible that the Penpal is too fat to leave his home, so has no other choice.
The Template Guy - This guy has written a long winded initial contact message that could be the opening pages of a romance novel. Problem is, he sends this same message to every girl with a pulse on the site. Sometimes, if he's forgotten, he will send you the same message more than once.
The Stalker - The stalker believes he knows you personally and intimately after looking at your profile. He will send you an initial message saying how wonderful you are and how he is the man you are looking for. When you don't respond, he will periodically send you other messages asking how you have been or insinuating that you must be busy lately since he has not heard from you. The stalker will inform you how much he likes you, even though you've never spoken.
The Long-Term Guy - This man believes that, because you have accepted a date with him, you are now in a relationship. Throughout the date he will make references to things you will do in the future (i.e. 'maybe Saturday we can meet my best friend ________ and then next week we'll head down to Leeds'). This is before you even get through your appetizer.
The Phony Romantic - The phony romantic will loudly declare his romantic intentions in his profile (i.e. 'for a first date I will take a lady on a romantic midnite picnic and then a walk by the water' or 'my lady better have a passport bc I like to jet off to Paris or Rome for dinner'). He will probably take you for a drink at his local pub then try to sleep with you.
The Sugar Daddy - The sugar daddy is a 40 + man who only messages 20 year olds. He will tell you that he is young at heart, makes a six figure salary, and has homes in various cities around the world.
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